Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
