Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
