you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
