dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
