He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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