btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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