He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You ruined the universe
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
