I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
