Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
