I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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