Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
