rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
