I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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