I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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