i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
