You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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