So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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