i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
