I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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