Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
