You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
