Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He better not be in your backpack
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
