I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
