I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
