Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
