how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
