Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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