I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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