If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
