K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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