Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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