Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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