My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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