whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize