I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
