Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
