I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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