Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
