I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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