Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
