so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
