He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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