True but thats because hes a fetus.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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