kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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