They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
