Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

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(917): View more from New York City

Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day

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(347): View more from New York

I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.

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(303): View more from Colorado

New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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(619): View more from California

Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something

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