Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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