Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
