Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he thought i was a dude.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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