we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
