It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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